NOT related to fitness....really.

Well, after I typed that, I thought.."maybe this IS about fitness--MENTAL fitness"! uh-oh! You know what that means...

I am stressing out about some things that I can't control, but actually, I do control the situation. I am in control of my day-to-day existence, right?

During my training today (which, by the way was MUCH easier than when I did the same thing a month ago), I let my mind wander to places that it hasn't gone for awhile. I was thinking about being a Mom first and letting everything else go. I think I do a pretty good job at the mom thing, but of course, there is much room for improvement. I sometimes rush from one project at one job to another job and although I feel like I have done a better job (including cutting my hours at second job), I can still do better. My mind feels like a cluttered mess and unfortunately, it also means my kids and husband suffer the consequences. I don't like when I am on edge and yelling. I don't like when I feel out of control in other places, and the only place I feel safe to 'get-it-out' is at home with my husband and kids.

I know I don't like it when J is stressed and he takes it out on us--so why do I constantly feel like that is the person that I have become? I am really hoping to get out and do some more exercising this week-I am hoping for an epiphany of sorts while I am out on the track (heck, they are saying 5-7 inches of snow tomorrow!), and hoping that my mind will settle and clear and things will become more focused.

The next step, includes alcohol! LOL!